On the way to Crystal Hot Springs, we had a very deep conversation about the baby coming and it all seemed so surreal. I was almost 38 weeks along and Bruce and I could hardly imagine that at any moment we could be parents. Of course, we had been talking about it for months, but not nearly as in depth as we did on that drive. We confronted our fears and talked about the spirit and excitement we'd feel in the delivery room. We talked about the kind of parents we wanted to be and came to the realization that this baby was coming to us because we were the best parents for him. That Heavenly Father trusted us with this sacred responsibility and knew that we were capable of being everything this baby needed. It was a daunting thought and yet this amazing peace swept over us. Now that I look back on that moment, I still don't think we even had a clue how our lives were going to change in just a few short hours.
We got to the hot springs early enough that it was hardly crowded at all. I had already checked with the nurses at my doctors office and they had told me the temperature of water that I was safe to be in. Even so, we could hardly stand being in that pool for longer than about 15 minutes at a time. The larger pool which isn't heated at all, but just warm, was practically empty and we spent the majority of our time in there. I felt completely weightless and THAT was a feeling that I obviously hadn't had the luxury of in a long time. I was swimming back and forth and enjoying the flexibility of my joints. I was stretching out all my sore muscles and finally felt a little relief. We were there for nearly 3 hours just talking, relaxing, and floating. We finally got out to sit on the grass and eat our packed lunches. As the sun was beating down on us, I remember starting to feel lightheaded. I had felt fine in the warm water but the heat from the sun was definitely overheating me. Bruce ran to fill up our ice water while I packed up all our garbage and we started to head out. On our way to the car I had to take a break on a bench and have Bruce bring the car to me. I sipped my ice water while I waited for him and concentrated on my breathing. I assumed it was my blood pressure raising a bit because I just felt slightly weak, short of breath, and lightheaded. All of these were symptoms I had never experienced before during my pregnancy so neither of us thought anything of it. Once I was in the air conditioned car, everything went back to normal. I remember Bruce saying to me that those are the symptoms that your body sometimes induces when it's preparing your body for something big to happen, like an adrenaline rush. I honestly don't know why he said that but it's funny how right he was.
Bruce and I got home at 2:30 p.m. with a couple hours to kill before our movie, so I decided to take a shower while Bruce took a nap. I didn't even get the chance to step into the tub. All of a sudden a felt a tiny pop and water started trickling down my leg. I yelled to Bruce and by the time he got to me, the small trickle had turned into gush after gush of clear wet fluid. Both of us were in a frenzy! We hadn't even packed our bags for the hospital yet. I was setting that task aside for the next week because it was the very last thing I had to do before he came and I wanted it to be packed perfectly. Luckily my baby shower had been the previous Saturday so I had focused all my time and energy the previous week on getting the details of his room put together, down to the very last battery. Bruce had even said to me multiple times at 3 o' clock in the morning, "We still have THREE WEEKS until he gets here, can we please just wait until morning before we have to get the baby monitors working?!"
We still weren't quite sure what we needed to do because I wasn't feeling any contractions at all. That moment had happened so differently in our imaginations that it caught us by surprise. I called my Mom very first, and actually, I don't think she answered... so I called my Dad. ;) He answered and when I very excitedly explained what had happened he yelled for my Mom. My Mom told me to go to the hospital or at least to give them a call, sit down with a towel between my legs, and then she started sending me separate text messages of all the things we needed to pack. (Which was super helpful since we had basically lost our minds in the moment.)It pretty much went like this...
Bruce: Where are my glasses??
Alyssa: Grab that one blanket that I really love that's in that one place...
Mom via text: Socks, meds, toothbrush, outfit to wear home, laptop, glasses...
Alyssa: Oh yeah, Bruce! My makeup! It's in that one drawer in there! I just need that one thing for my stuff and that other thing that's in that one place...
Bruce: Seriously, where are my glasses?!?
Needless to say it was quite the chaotic moment. My Dad was having a cow at home knowing that it had almost been an hour since my water broke and we hadn't even started heading to the hospital, which was an hour away. We live in Logan but had decided to deliver at McKay Dee Hospital in Ogden. My doctor had told us that it would be completely fine and we had no need to worry about making it on time. In our minds, we pictured me lying in the back seat of the car trying to focus and relax through my contractions as we winded down Sardine Canyon. Luckily, this wasn't the case, but nevertheless, my family was still panicking. My sweet Grandma Cawley suggested we call life flight and my Dad was ready to come and get me himself. Finally, we had everything packed (thrown disastrously) in the car and began to drive down.
Bruce is a very skilled driver and he was getting to speeds of 90+ the whole drive down. We were just daring a cop to pull us over because we thought it would be awesome to be able to use the "My wife's water just broke and she's in labor" excuse! Our dear friend, Adam Jones, had made us a playlist to listen to on the drive to the hospital that we were forbidden to hear before the actual moment it was happening. It was full of humorous picks such as Justin Beiber's 'Baby', 'Sweet Child of Mine', and many more. We were laughing the whole way there! We made it to McKay in a little less than an hour at 4:30 p.m. and Bruce ran inside to get a wheelchair. Since it was Saturday, I guess nobody was in the lobby so he saw a vacant wheelchair behind a desk and stole it. I'm still just assuming that nobody else needed it at the time.
Bruce was so great about keeping his cool. It probably helped that I wasn't in pain at all, I had yet to feel a single contraction. He got me up to the Labor and Delivery area and they started getting us checked in. It was kind of funny though, the nurse asked me how I spelled my first name and I told her "A-l-y (pause) s-s-a." Then Bruce blurts out, "Oh, that's how you spell it." Which earned him a very disgusted look from the nurse. He then tried explaining "I mean, I never knew how you spelled it out to other people, like, would you say A-l (pause) y-s (pause) s-a, or A-l-y-s (pause) s-a..." I think he was maybe just a tad nervous and the nurse wouldn't let him live it down for the rest of the night. She kept testing him on my first name and other obvious facts about me.
This whole time I am just completely soaked through and changing into my robe was a beast. It's like in the movie What to Expect When You're Expecting when her water breaks all over the floor and then each couple that comes in after her is like "Ew, what is that, somebody needs to clean that up..." Yeah, I was that patient. I don't even think the nurses fully realized how much it was because it was quite a while before they came in to check me and by the time they got there I had... leaked?... through all the bed sheets, pads, blankets, my robe, more onto the floor etc. etc. etc... that when they finally lifted my robe to hook up the monitors, she surprisingly said "Oh, let me get you another bed pad..." Um, yeah, it was a little late for that...
At that point, it was about 5:15 p.m. and I still hadn't had or felt any contractions and I was only dilated to a 2 (and a half!), 70% effaced. My doctor decided I needed to be started on a small dose of Pitocin to induce the contractions. By the time they had me hooked up to the IV, all settled into the delivery room, and the Pitocin dripping, it was almost 6 o' clock. Bruce decided it was a good time for him to get dinner before things got started and I turned on the TV to find something to watch. King of Queens is on, Bruce is scarfing down his burger, and I'm just contently sitting there enjoying my time when the contractions start getting really strong, really fast. I had told my nurse I wanted to wait as long as I could before getting an epidural just so that I could experience a little bit of the labor pain. Around 7:30, an hour and a half after they started Pitocin, I was really starting to feel the wrath of these monsters and decided to get the epidural sooner rather than later. I kind of felt wimpy, but it was actually really good that I got it when I did because an hour and a half after the epidural kicked in, I was dilated to a 9 and 90% effaced. We had mentioned to the nurse that it was our anniversary and she said nonchalantly that we would definitely have this baby after midnight so not to worry. She hastily took her words back when she saw how quickly I was progressing and we all decided that this baby didn't want to miss out on all the fun.
My mom and dad arrived at the hospital and we were all just having a casual conversation when fireworks start blasting in the sky right outside our window. We had a perfect view of the South Ogden Days Fireworks show and I finally felt content about him coming that day instead of the 4th of July (which is what we were aiming for), as long as there were fireworks to welcome him into this world! ;) At 10:50-ish, fireworks still going, they decided it was time for me to push. My parents found a nice comfy place to wait outside the delivery room and the nurse coached Bruce and I on the method of pushing. My normal doctor, Wes Davis, was out of town on vacation, so they called in the doctor who was covering for him, Julia Johansson. She got there just in time and our sweet, beautiful Liam Bruce Hoffman was born at 11:41 p.m., 20 minutes before midnight.
It was definitely a whirlwind of events! One second we're eating tuna fish sandwiches and goldfish crackers and the next we're looking at this sweet, little, wrinkly baby who made our hearts burst with pride. He was so tiny and they set him on me as soon as they pulled him out. He didn't cry immediately but just made these little wheezing/squeaking noises. I couldn't even wrap my mind around what to do, I just sat there staring at him on my chest. I'm pretty sure I just kept saying "Oh my gosh" over and over and over again. Since he wasn't breathing too great, the nurse took him from me and they had to suck out some of the fluid in his throat. He started breathing regularly but still wasn't crying full on, he was just opening his eyes slowly and observing the things happening around him. He was so calm and content, even when they gave him his shots and put the antibiotics in his eyes, he only fussed a little. He weighed in at 6 lbs. 3 oz. and 19 1/2 inches long. The whole labor and delivery went so smoothly that my nurses kept making jokes that he was either going to be the best baby ever or the worst. The nurse brought him to me and had us try breastfeeding. We quickly realized that he will be the best baby because he latched on immediately and has been a champ ever since. She was quite shocked and kept saying "I know full term 8 pounders who can't figure out how to breastfeed on the first try, it is really uncommon for a baby this small to catch on immediately." We just knew he was so special. :)
The whole hospital stay was really pleasant. I had a 2nd degree tear which didn't feel too great, but I was recovering well. Liam was adjusting to the real world just fine and we were able to head home a little earlier than expected. The very worst feeling was leaving the hospital. It was definitely my hormones getting the better of me but I just felt so safe in that little hospital room with nothing to worry about but holding my baby and getting to see our little family bond. We were leaving that really happy moment and going back into the real world. I was overjoyed and excited to be bringing him to his home, but felt so anxious about how I could protect him from all the dangers and unwashed public. I cried and cried the whole way home because I was just feeling so many emotions at once I couldn't keep a handle on it. But those feelings passed and when we brought him inside the house, everything felt like it would be okay.
We are so in love with this baby and I have just been amazed to see how proud Bruce is already. We keep saying, "I really don't think we're being biased, he truly is the cutest baby ever." And we're pretty dead serious about that. We make the most handsome babies, I think we'll have to have another one. (IN THE FUTURE!) But really, we're pretty sure we'll keep this one.
They took some pictures of him in the hospital and they were just too precious not to buy. It reminds me of all those special feelings we felt while we adjusted to life with our new little addition. These pictures of him being only a day old will always hold a special place in my heart. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LIAM!!! :D We're so glad you made it here safely!
Beautiful! I have tears!!!!
ReplyDeleteSo so so so cute!! I can't wait to hold him. Congratulations guys! Love you. Lace :)
ReplyDelete