An Engagement Story

My best friend Shelby, currently waiting for her boyfriend on a mission, decided she needed to buy a fake engagement ring for herself while he was gone. I thought this was crazy, but I love her so I tagged along. Bruce was supposed to meet up with us shortly after to go bowling. My phone was about to die so I texted him Shelby's number in case he needed to get a hold of us. Not even 5 minutes after that text, Shelby's phone began to ring. I recognized it as Bruce's number but as she answered it she walked away and kept mouthing to me that it wasn't him. I found it so suspicious until she said that it was Bruce's best friend Chris confirming plans for a date that was already set in motion for the next day. Odd... but.... I was satisfied.

Shelby and I were standing inside of Claire's in the mall, and she began taking rings out and trying them on to figure out her size. She would hand me a ring:

Shelby: "Do you like this one?? Try it on..."

Alyssa: "Shelby it doesn't fit me..."

Shelby: "Well.... Here's the same one in a bigger size..."

Alyssa: "Still doesn't fit..."

Shelby: "What about a size 8"

Alyssa: "Yeah that one fits! But I like this ring! Try this one!"

Shelby: "Does it come in MY size??"

This continued for a good 10-15 minutes and it did not even occur to me in the slightest what the ulterior motive could possibly be. Bruce was calling for my ring size. :)

Bruce and I have known each other 4 years now. 2 of those years he was serving an LDS mission in Japan. When he left, we had been serious but didn't want to have any expectations so we decided I would date around while he was gone so that I could learn and grow personally as much as he was. Letters came and went weekly and our friendship continued to grow as much as it could. Spiritually we both grew up and eventually I realized that I could not date any longer knowing that I still could have my chance with my Bruce. About 6 months before he came home, I officially quit dating and decided to be fair to myself, other guys, and Bruce, and wait to see where things could go with him. Luckily when he got home, we were on the same page.

Bruce and I had talked plenty about dating exclusively, but he hadn't brought up the idea of marriage. I didn't want to pressure him. I wanted him to get adjusted to being home from his mission, and I wanted to know that he wasn't just going to marry me because I happened to be around. However, I had a lot of things that needed to be figured out in the next 6 months, and whether or not he wanted to be in the picture would change those plans drastically. So, a month or so after he had been home, I grew impatient and started to pry for information. I would hint and tease and ask, but he played his cards well. I thought it was because he was oblivious. So I started thinking that the next 6 months of our lives would take us into different directions and we would have to wait THAT much longer, possibly missing our chance.

Turns out, I was the oblivious one.

A couple weeks came and went and Bruce and I were getting to know more and more about each other. It had finally gotten to a point that I could not pretend like we weren't thinking about marriage any longer, and I confronted Bruce that it was either now, or never. I was worried that I was about to get hurt.

Luckily, he saw my point of view and realized that maybe a complete surprise engagement, although romantic, could provide stressful with my upcoming future plans. I needed to know now so I could make my decisions. He didn't say anything except that we was planning on it, and we could pick a day. Huge relief swept over me knowing that he had been secretly working out details for the last 2-3 weeks.

On April 16th, Bruce and I, along with Shelby and 4 of Bruce's friends, had our regular plans to do baptisms at the Bountiful Temple. I. looked. awful. I never wear make-up, I don't even bring a brush. After we got done I just threw up my ratted chlorine-filled hair into a nasty ponytail and headed on out. Everyone was waiting for me.

"Where's Adam?" I asked. "Oh, he had to get going so he left early." They all answered.

"Why don't we take a walk around the temple everyone? It's such a nice morning!" Bruce said.

Shelby and I were walking next to each other. Me still being oblivious to anything out of the ordinary. Chris came up next to Shelby and asked if she would walk with him, which separated the two of us. Bruce came up next to me and as we rounded the corner to the back fountain everyone was suddenly gone. We casually walked up the stairs and I noticed a bouquet of yellow daisies sitting on the bench. Even still, it did not hit me. "Oh those are pretty flowers........ BRUCE!!!!" I cupped my hands over my mouth and couldn't even process what was going on. Bruce took me over to the bench and I saw the most GORGEOUS ring I have ever seen.



The rest is such a blur. I don't even remember what he said I was so excited. He sat me down on the bench, and proposed to me. I said "YES!!" and Adam and the rest of our friends jumped out from the bushes. Adam had been setting up the flowers and ring while we came out of the temple. The rest were secretly taking pictures while everything was happening.

Bruce designed this ring all on his own!! The circle within a square has a couple of different meanings. First it symbolizes perfection. Second, the Circle represents Heaven, and the Square represents Earth, so together they represent Heaven and Earth coming together, being united. It can also represent Man and Woman coming together in Marriage. Essentially it symbolizes a perfect eternal marriage. I was so touched when Bruce told me this.



Whelp, this is us! And I am so grateful and excited that I get to marry this amazing man. He certainly knows a thing or two about this whole romantic business! He is way too good for me!

"Emotionally Unstable"

I am excited to be able to document all of the events and changes that are beginning to take place in my life. Most of which concern getting to know my fiance' better and learning to grow as a couple. I have to say, for me this has become quite the process. It probably doesn't help that my poor sweet Bruce, although is giving it his all, is trying to figure out the female species and our impending mood swings all at the same time. I am not the best at helping him understand exactly how us women think, however I have been able to give him a good ear full here and there.

Sunday, for example, started the first of what I am sure will be many misunderstandings. Bruce had been on a weekend bachelor trip to Angel's Landing in Zion's National Park. He left with a head cold and came back with a full blown sinus infection, fever and all. This is the second time I have ever seen Bruce sick in the 4 years I've known him. (The first being an 8 hour car drive back from Denver where he caught the 24 hour flu.)

On Sunday, he and his friends began their trip home. I periodically texted him throughout the day, continually growing more and more excited as I hadn't seen or been able to talk to him in 2 WHOLE DAYS! Which, pathetically felt a lot like the 2 years he was gone on his mission. He kept me updated with how much time he had left until he would be home, and I made sure to keep him updated on how much I couldn't wait to see him. When he got home, the first text he sent me was "I'm home babe, but I'm a mess..."

Poor guy had a high fever, a headache, three-day old stubble, and congestion in his nose and chest. Me, being the enthusiastic new-wife-to-be figured this would be a great opportunity to hop on over there, and take care of him. Too bad he has a Mom and Sister who seem to think they are just as well-equipped for that job.

This is what Bruce ACTUALLY said:

"Alyssa, You're welcome to come over, I just don't want to get you sick. Don't worry about me, I'm fine! I just need to rest, which I haven't been able to do in a long time. But don't worry, it's not your fault! I'll see you tomorrow and I'm sure I'll feel better by then."

This is what I heard:

"Alyssa, If you really want to come over... I'm not going to stop you, but I don't really want you to. I won't be able to sleep if you come over, and I never get to sleep because you keep me out late all the time. I really don't need you because I am tough, and I have my Mom and Sister to take care of me. I'll just wait and see how I feel tomorrow and maybe we can see each other then."

As Bruce sat on his bed with the phone to his ear and an ice pack resting on his fevered head, he tried to think through his headache what it was he could have possibly said that had made me start to cry.

In the end, I forced my way over there despite the over-analyzing going through my mind.

The next day we were able to laugh about it. Let's say... I was able to laugh about it. As we were talking I realized I was the one being oversensitive, and apologized in advance for any future troubles that may come up. Which is a good thing I did because the next thing you know, Bruce was lightheartedly saying, "Ya know Alyssa, at first I was like 'Oh no! Alyssa's emotionally unstable!' and then I realized, that's just how yo-... blah blah blah." I pretty much tuned him out after that.

Over the next few hours the continuous circle cycled as follows:

Anger: Me?? Emotionally unstable?? I am NOT unstable. He hasn't even SEEN unstable! I'll show HIM emotionally unstable!!

Sadness: Oh my gosh... I totally am crazy. I'm psycho!! I'm definitely emotionally unstable. He shouldn't have to marry me.. I am such a crazy... he needs to get out of this now... Oh my gosh *sob* that's just gonna kill me...

Laughing: Wow... It is so funny how often my emotions change. He is totally in for something isn't he? "Lol" Oh man.. Wait til my Mom hears how funny this is. This is so typical girl!

Embarrassment: Wait... did I really just think all that? What am I going to be like in 40 years? He's not going to be able to stand to be with me!

Depression: My husband will most definitely want to separate from me in 40 years when it comes out that I really AM emotionally unstable and not just having hormonal mood swings.

Do you SEE how hard it is to be a woman???? Bruce really has no idea what he is in for. He continues to say to me "Wow, I still have a lot to learn about you don't I?" And in the most understanding way I can possibly muster without sounding offended I answer, "You're right honey. There is so much to learn about women."

Hopefully he will learn someday that I am in fact just a girl. That is the simple explanation. I am not "Emotionally Unstable". Someday he will also realize that whether he thinks that now, or ever thought that, or ever will think that in his entire lifetime, it is maybe not a good idea to mention those words in correlation to his wife in the same sentence... ever. :)