"Emotionally Unstable"

I am excited to be able to document all of the events and changes that are beginning to take place in my life. Most of which concern getting to know my fiance' better and learning to grow as a couple. I have to say, for me this has become quite the process. It probably doesn't help that my poor sweet Bruce, although is giving it his all, is trying to figure out the female species and our impending mood swings all at the same time. I am not the best at helping him understand exactly how us women think, however I have been able to give him a good ear full here and there.

Sunday, for example, started the first of what I am sure will be many misunderstandings. Bruce had been on a weekend bachelor trip to Angel's Landing in Zion's National Park. He left with a head cold and came back with a full blown sinus infection, fever and all. This is the second time I have ever seen Bruce sick in the 4 years I've known him. (The first being an 8 hour car drive back from Denver where he caught the 24 hour flu.)

On Sunday, he and his friends began their trip home. I periodically texted him throughout the day, continually growing more and more excited as I hadn't seen or been able to talk to him in 2 WHOLE DAYS! Which, pathetically felt a lot like the 2 years he was gone on his mission. He kept me updated with how much time he had left until he would be home, and I made sure to keep him updated on how much I couldn't wait to see him. When he got home, the first text he sent me was "I'm home babe, but I'm a mess..."

Poor guy had a high fever, a headache, three-day old stubble, and congestion in his nose and chest. Me, being the enthusiastic new-wife-to-be figured this would be a great opportunity to hop on over there, and take care of him. Too bad he has a Mom and Sister who seem to think they are just as well-equipped for that job.

This is what Bruce ACTUALLY said:

"Alyssa, You're welcome to come over, I just don't want to get you sick. Don't worry about me, I'm fine! I just need to rest, which I haven't been able to do in a long time. But don't worry, it's not your fault! I'll see you tomorrow and I'm sure I'll feel better by then."

This is what I heard:

"Alyssa, If you really want to come over... I'm not going to stop you, but I don't really want you to. I won't be able to sleep if you come over, and I never get to sleep because you keep me out late all the time. I really don't need you because I am tough, and I have my Mom and Sister to take care of me. I'll just wait and see how I feel tomorrow and maybe we can see each other then."

As Bruce sat on his bed with the phone to his ear and an ice pack resting on his fevered head, he tried to think through his headache what it was he could have possibly said that had made me start to cry.

In the end, I forced my way over there despite the over-analyzing going through my mind.

The next day we were able to laugh about it. Let's say... I was able to laugh about it. As we were talking I realized I was the one being oversensitive, and apologized in advance for any future troubles that may come up. Which is a good thing I did because the next thing you know, Bruce was lightheartedly saying, "Ya know Alyssa, at first I was like 'Oh no! Alyssa's emotionally unstable!' and then I realized, that's just how yo-... blah blah blah." I pretty much tuned him out after that.

Over the next few hours the continuous circle cycled as follows:

Anger: Me?? Emotionally unstable?? I am NOT unstable. He hasn't even SEEN unstable! I'll show HIM emotionally unstable!!

Sadness: Oh my gosh... I totally am crazy. I'm psycho!! I'm definitely emotionally unstable. He shouldn't have to marry me.. I am such a crazy... he needs to get out of this now... Oh my gosh *sob* that's just gonna kill me...

Laughing: Wow... It is so funny how often my emotions change. He is totally in for something isn't he? "Lol" Oh man.. Wait til my Mom hears how funny this is. This is so typical girl!

Embarrassment: Wait... did I really just think all that? What am I going to be like in 40 years? He's not going to be able to stand to be with me!

Depression: My husband will most definitely want to separate from me in 40 years when it comes out that I really AM emotionally unstable and not just having hormonal mood swings.

Do you SEE how hard it is to be a woman???? Bruce really has no idea what he is in for. He continues to say to me "Wow, I still have a lot to learn about you don't I?" And in the most understanding way I can possibly muster without sounding offended I answer, "You're right honey. There is so much to learn about women."

Hopefully he will learn someday that I am in fact just a girl. That is the simple explanation. I am not "Emotionally Unstable". Someday he will also realize that whether he thinks that now, or ever thought that, or ever will think that in his entire lifetime, it is maybe not a good idea to mention those words in correlation to his wife in the same sentence... ever. :)